While In College, one statement that My Pastor at the time shared, has become a mantra for my life… and I repeat these words to myself daily. His statement of wealth was:
“Riches Is What You Have, Wealth Is Who You Are!”
My desire to build a well rounded life, often feels like a major challenge.
Some people may think I’m obsessed about wealth. Others may feel like I’m just chasing an illusion or a dream…
For me, it sometimes feels like God simply gave me a different set of eyes, of which I see life!
3 F’s of Wealth
After reading MJ Demarcos book, The Millionaire Fast Lane, his description of Wealth, couldn’t be better suited for what I’d describe, is my personal pursuit.
He states that True Wealth isn’t simply about Money… It’s about the ability to enjoy the following 3 areas that we all desire in life:
- Friends, Family & Personal Relationship with God
I couldn’t agree more.
However, the more I push to find an equal balance in these 3 areas personally, I can’t help but confess that I feel an extreme void in #1, Friends and Family.
Truth is, no matter what you accomplish in life, there’s nothing like having the ability to share your joy’s in life with those you love and those that love you.
However, for me, it hasn’t been that easy.
Although I have my core group of friends that will always be there… over these past few years, I’ve felt an immense amount of loneliness, from not being surrounded by those that have the same desires and ambitions as I do.
There’s nothing more frustrating than meeting new people who know absolutely nothing about you, and you know nothing about them, and whenever you open your mouth, you feel like you have to explain continuously about who you are, your beliefs and why you feel the way you do to avoid “offending someone”…. aarrgghhh…..
From Social Butterfly To Anti-Social
I’m finding it more and more challenging to relate to people on a personal level.
It’s weird when people are watching your every move on the Internet, and when they see you in person, they look at you differently because in their minds, their wondering if what you do and say Online is directed towards them…. so freaking annoying!
This is the time when you wonder what does it take to be surrounded by like minds.
To be in the company of people who get it, and don’t always expect a dissertation to support your point of view.
Of the 2 good friends I’ve had here in the past 3 1/2 years of living here, they’ve both relocated in the past year. One to Kentucky and the other to Dallas.
While speaking to one of them, Annalise, who’s now in Kentucky, she said to me “It’s like that city is killing your soul”… that was gut wrenching to hear, but very eye-opening, because I can feel it.
It’s like I’ve become mute. Not much to say… not much to share… not much to give!
What is this feeling? How did I get here? And how do I get out of it?
The Dirty South
Lately, all I’ve been thinking about is relocating to a more progressive city.
Memphis isn’t quite the Renaissance City… where progressive minds collide to dream and pursue life’s greatest ambitions together.
As a matter of fact, it’s the complete opposite.
A very segregated, stagnant city, which sometimes makes you feel like you’re back in the 60′s and 70′s when Blues and Music were the only thing that brought races of people together…..
I know that my days here are numbered.
No matter how much I try to reach out and connect, it just seems like I don’t quite fit in here to the climate of this city and the conversations of those that are commoners here….
Some days, I feel like I’m in jail… bound in between the four walls of my home, playing chaperon, chef and housewife without much of a life outside of my husband and children.
Such a weird feeling….
Especially when I’ve been known to be the life of the party, or the social butterfly that’s always working the room…
Here, none of that exists…. not even a tad bit….
I rarely engage in conversation outside of my computer. I often feel like an old hag… maybe even a little boring and dull in the eyes of others.. what in the world is happening to me?
My Glass Window
My point in sharing this is to say that no matter how much money you make, how many of your goals you scratch off the list… without the 3 F’s being well balanced in your life, it’s miserable!
For me, my desire is to be in the company of trustworthy friends, with like minds, that I can bounce ideas off of, without being scrutinized or ridiculed behind my back.
The days where being in the midst of a cheerful, joyful community of people, that aren’t self-conscious or intimidated by having ambitious people in their midst, but instead thrive from hearing the visions and ambitions of others.
There’s nothing more isolating than being around those that can’t handle a dreamer.
Those that are made uncomfortable by discussing things outside of their comfort zones.
Those that are trapped in the mundane elements of life….
Geessssshhhh…. Calgon, take me away…
Better yet, Lord, please show me a way out!
Who Invited Debbie Downer??
This isn’t my typical post… but it is one where I’m reflecting on my life and from the outside looking in, it’s an unhealthy area to my wealth desires….
True friends.. true support and true like minds are definitely needed in the wealth equation!
If you feel this way sometimes, I’d love to hear your comments and input…
It’s a late friday night.. I’m sitting on the couch reflecting on so many things in my life, and couldn’t help but get this off my chest to show this vulnerable side of seeking more out of life outside of the norm.
It’s crazy how normal and ordinary is good… and seeking the extraordinary is frowned upon.
However, this isn’t going to alter my quest…
As painstaking as it is… I will continue to fight, until this 3rd piece of my Wealth equation comes together…
When will we relocate to a better situation???… At this point, Only God knows.
My prayer is that even if and when we do move, that I discover that it was simply the area that felt like it stunted my growth, and not something internally within me, that caused me to miss out on a valuable opportunity here in Memphis.
I guess only time will tell!
Stay tuned for how this saga will unfold!
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